Awakening Internal

Personal growth through the eyes of love


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What She Learned From Her Dying Father

45 years ago my mentor’s father died while serving our country.

Her mom was 16 weeks pregnant with her and had two small girls (her sisters), ages 3 and 5.

To say his death shattered all of their worlds is an understatement.

Her mom went on to remarry but the wound in her heart caused her to never really give herself fully to her step-father.

As she says, this is a common pattern for women.

A man breaks your heart so you never fully give yourself to another.

My mentor (Kristin Sweeting Morelli) watched how her mom only gave her step-father small pieces of herself emotionally and intimately.

She cringed while she watched her mom emasculate him by rolling her eyes at him or getting annoyed with him, by not telling him what she needed to open, by withholding love and affection from him, by being passive aggressive with him.

It became second nature to her and she went on to be her mother’s daughter, emasculating men who loved her deeply.

She would even choose weak men who she could find fault with and push around or who would tolerate her unavailability.

She would exploit their love and devotion to her by always keeping them on an improvement plan.

It was her way of staying “safe” but eventually, she discovered this path was making her (and them) miserable.

She thought men deserved her treatment.

After all, how was she going to “train” them if she didn’t use her methods.

If any of this resonates in your body, you might want to {check out this audio with Kristin Sweeting Morelli and Alison Armstrong} where they talk about how to Become a Queen in your relationships with men.

The audio costs you nothing.

You will also be invited to join the R.E.D. Sisterhood in the Become a Queen program if you like.  The doors will close on Friday, June 3rd.

https://no122.isrefer.com/go/BaQ2016/awakening

Through the eyes of love,

MICHELLE DANCY,  CHHC, AADP

p.s.  A note from Kristin:  “It’s my aim to honor all men (including my father) by becoming a space where men live their greatness and are appreciated by me and all women for it.  I hope you’ll join us.”

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Subject: Crack the Code on Men with The Queen’s Code

Have you tapped into the code that will turn your relationship with men around?

And as far as I can tell…
Every woman does need to communicate with men to be heard and get what she needs.
Every woman does need to listen to men to have them reveal what she needs to know.
Every woman benefits by having a satisfying relationship with the opposite sex — for work, for family, for love, for play.
Are you committed to having those things for yourself?

The best solution I have found is a course called Become a Queen™.
https://no122.isrefer.com/go/BaQ2016/awakening

Become a Queen™ reveals the secret to communicating with men, and a code of honor that will change your relationship with yourself and men forever in the format of a romantic novel.

I encourage you to get a taste of what Kristin Sweeting Morelli and Alison Armstrong (two of my mentors) have to teach you about men.  They are giving away a free interview where they help us understand how to get what we want with men.

https://no122.isrefer.com/go/BaQ2016/awakening

I’m excited about the difference it can make in your own life!!


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Love Heals (Part One)

This is part one of a two part blog post, so stay tuned for part two!

This weekend I was having a conversation with a friend, she was telling me about research she has done on babies that are  removed from their birth parents, at birth.  She was sharing that babies go into survival mode because they can’t smell their mothers or hear their mothers voices or heartbeats.  This, naturally, can cause long term issues with abandonment, security and fear.   As we’re talking, she points to my almost 9 month old granddaughter and says, she’s so happy and thriving though(??).

My granddaughter was placed with me when she was just 11 weeks old.  As Forrest Gump says, “and that’s all I have to say about that”, so I won’t go into the gory details surrounding that decision.

I used to “eye roll” back in the day, when I would hear Hillary Clinton say, “it takes a village”…HA!  She couldn’t have been more spot on, it DOES take a village!!  Our sweet baby has a village of people that love her completely and enjoy every little thing that she does and of course, we ALL think she’s the most beautiful, smartest, sweetest baby EVER…and we’re not prejudice a bit!! My granddaughters village, or tribe as I refer to us sometimes, is made up of partially blood related relatives and partially friends; we are ALL family now.  Our sweet baby and unconditional love are the foundation of our makeshift family and it’s perfection!

Love is Patient, Love is Kind:

Going from being a single parent to two teenagers, to a single parent to two teenagers and a new baby has been a MAJOR transition for me personally, to say the least.  Going from teenagers that will sleep late, therefore on the weekends I could sleep until I decided I wanted to get up and have a little quiet time in the mornings, to having a new baby in the house that was up every few hours and the opportunity for me to ease into my days were yanked right out from under my feet and was about to send me OVER THE EDGE.
I have a growing Health Coaching Practice, it’s one of my passions, but when our sweet baby came to live with us, the momentum I had, stopped in its tracks and working was put on the back burner for awhile and I let this overwhelm me with stress, and anxiety became a daily battle.
Dealing with caseworkers, a whole new territory for me, I had so much to learn and so many people in and out of my house and this was a little scary for me.  I wanted to be transparent with them and tell them how afraid I was to take on raising a baby with everything I was already juggling, but I was afraid they may place our sweet baby in foster care and I couldn’t bare the thoughts of that!  For the record, each and every case worker has been so wonderful!  They truly care about the children!!  Also, every single person I have dealt with in The Department of Social Services has been a huge support for me and my family.
Court.  We have been in and out of court, the neglected and abused division, needless to say that this has been eye opening and heartbreaking.  The cases that go before the judge are unbelievable and I leave there in tears and a heavy heart for days sometimes.  The teenagers that are “in the system” and have been for YEARS…it kills me. One teenage boy is in a substance abuse program because he hasn’t seen his mom in over a year, he’s hurting so badly that he’s medicating himself.  A teenage girl, thriving in school, the judge commends her for doing so well and she inspires me that in spite of all she’s been handed in life, she is on her game….but in the deepest part of me, I also know that she is wanting to prove that she is worthy of love.   I think, “is this our babies future? Is she going to always feel as though she has to prove herself? Is this going to drag out for years?”  I can say with CONFIDENCE, HELL TO THE NO!!  This is not her future!  She is thriving physically, mentally and emotionally and WILL CONTINUE DOING SO!!

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Now to tie all of this together and tell you why I put this information in this section of my blog post.  Love is patient and Love is kind.  This isn’t about me being patient and kind with our baby.   This portion is about the patience and kindness (LOVE) shown to me on a daily basis, which enables me to do what I do.  Needless to say, I have had more than my fair share of meltdowns through this situation and I’ve needed to just have the space to say what I needed to say, rational or not.  I have to say that I hit “rock bottom” almost a month ago when I realized I had our baby by myself for the weekend, while my teenagers were going to be at their dads for the weekend.  I so desperately need these every other weekends to recharge, it makes me a better mom.   I have never felt so defeated…so alone.  I have this amazing boyfriend, he is my biggest fan and he is my rock.  He calls me when he gets off of work, as he always does, and immediately he knows I’m not in a good place.  I said things to him that I was feeling about myself that I haven’t even thought in YEARS, it makes me want to cry thinking about it now.  I didn’t pretend, I didn’t sugar coat anything, in fact I almost felt too defeated to even talk at times.  To be honest, and I don’t even think I’ve told him this, but I didn’t even want to answer the phone when he called me that day because I felt “too ugly” to even expose his beautiful heart to my darkness.  He loved me through it; he was patient, he was kind, he saw me through the eyes of love, compassion and understanding.  He  assured me that I am not defeated, that I am the strongest person he knows, I am not alone…he called and checked on me through the night and even made sure I got into bed and that I was going to be able to sleep, and sent me lots of love!  Having the freedom to be transparent with the darkness that I was experiencing that night, some how enabled me to get on the other side of all of the overwhelm and anxiety that I had been experiencing and I haven’t had that debilitating anxiety that I had been dealing with since!  His love has filled me, healed me, which has spilled over into our sweet babies life and has enabled her life to remain constant and stable.

Love Always Protects, Always Trusts, Always Hopes, Always Preserves:

I wish I could take all of the credit for the fact that she is so happy and thriving, but I can’t by a long shot.  The only thing I can really take credit for is setting her up for success.  I have been diligent about protecting her from the negativity of the situation surrounding her birth parents, to the best of my ability and I have been diligent about surrounding her with people that love her and see her as the perfect little angel that she is.
I have a friend, her mother and her daughter, that are now family.  My friend has quickly become the other grandmother to our baby and she loves her as much as I do!  I have leaned on my new family the most with helping while I work and helping with the every other weekends, when my teenagers are at their dads.  She is also my friend and I have been able to lean on her during the emotional times too.  We lean on each other, because sometimes we both worry about different things around this situation and let our fears get the best of us…we get each other and love each other.  They are vested as much as I am and because of that and the love they have for our baby, I value their voice, I trust them.  Our sweet girl, loves them all so much along with everyone else in her village.

Her “village or tribe” has approximately 15 people in it and each and everyone of us take off of work and clear our calendars in order to go to court when there is a court date, (my parents drive 4 hours..one way) because we each love and support our baby and each of us want the absolute best for her.  My parents keep us stocked up on diapers, wipes and formula, thanks to Amazon.  My oldest son and his fiancé have bought her clothes, a car seat, diapers, wipes. My future daughter-in-law has come to my house to help me clean, babysit and they do anything that I ask them to do.  Everyone contributes in so many ways, I don’t think I could even begin to list it all and I couldn’t be more grateful!

The love; protection, trust, hope and preservation that she experiences on a daily basis has healed her from the neglect, abandonment, insecurities and the extreme fear she used to experience when she was placed in a position that was unsettling for her.  Every single person that meets our baby for the first time, even case workers and the nurses and Doctors at her pediatricians office, say she is the happiest baby they have ever seen!  People ask me all of the time if she’s always “this happy” and unless she’s getting hungry or sleepy, she IS always “this happy”.  I attribute her happiness to the love she receives at home and the love she receives from her village….her family.

Did you know that babies can exhibit their gifts?  I didn’t know that, until now.  Our baby draws people in, she wins their hearts over the second someone lays eyes on her and she creates unification, families and oneness.  She is a game changer and she is going to shake this world up that we live in….just wait and see!  Love has not only healed our precious little angel, but quite possibly our little angel is healing her tribe most of all.

children two


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Do You Feel….YOU?????

I read something this week that really resonated with me,from the book Slow Sex by Nicole Daedone.  She is talking about how people, women specifically, have been trained to not feel sensation.  Nicole gives the following example: a mother is taking her little girl to her first day of kindergarten and the little girl states that she has butterflies in her stomach.  Her mother dismisses the feeling that is in her daughter’s belly by stating that she’s just nervous.  Now, in my opinion, the mother has 100% good intentions, but isn’t this the beginning of being taught to not being present with what’s going on inside of us? Is this resonating with you already? Does this training spill over into every other area of your life?    Does this mentality spill over into your sensual life..your sensual self? It did mine! Ever since I read this, I have been very intentional about “feeling” and being really in tune with WHAT I’m feeling specifically in my body..paying attention to my core.  Do you see how being intentional about “feeling” what’s going on inside of you could be so beneficial on SO many levels?
We are taught as women to “hide”our sensuality, so we are deemed as “good girls”, but our sensual selves is WHO WE ARE and it’s natural and normal, it doesn’t make us “bad girls”!
This weekend and week ahead, be very intentional about “feeling” what you have going on inside of you and embrace it..Good or unpleasant and see what kind of shift happens in you personally.  There is no right or wrong way to feel what you’re feeling.  Honor where you are, acknowledge where you are, be present and LOVE yourself for it!!

Through The Eyes of Love,
Michelle Dancy, CHHC, AADP
michelle.manning@awakening-internal.com


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A Growing Year

This, without a doubt, has been a “growing” (aka challenging) year for my children and me.
Here’s to name a few of our growth opportunities:
* The very unexpected death of my 41 year old sister on Christmas Eve
* Divorce
* Being cast into the role of not only being a single mother, but single-handedly raising a teenage girl and a teenage boy. Solo. Alone. Solo. Solo. Oh, and did I mention SOLO??
* My beautiful souls that I have been blessed to care for until they leave the nest, being reduced from having two active parents to one active parent.
* Financial “tightness” due to divorce
* My brave 15 year old daughter had to make the toughest decision this summer. She had to have the love of her life, Phoenix (her beautiful Paint Horse), put down due to eye cancer and another major health issue, both were causing her to suffer immense pain.
* At the beginning of this year, my young teenage son (13), went through a tough time with the transition of his relationship with his father. He was engulfed in anger, acted out and I was worried I would lose him!

Now to switch gears, let’s do a 180! For all of you that have been reading my blog and following me on social media, you know I always like to come back to the positive side of a situation. I thrive on being real, raw and showing how tough, hopeless and ugly “growing opportunities” are, but I love to come back and show you what I have learned, how I have grown and how I/we have arrived on the other side of a situation in tact; with the hopes of encouraging just one person!

Here’s a list of POSITIVE lessons learned:
* With the loss of my sister, I have learned to make peace with one of the most heartbreaking losses of my life. My Spirit has been expanded. I grieved without “stuffing it” and honored where I was at the moment. I grieved without apology.
* Divorce was a healthy move for my kids and me. We were caught up in the cycle of abuse and our home is now a safe haven, there is peace (most of the time 🙂 ) and there is laughter….LOTS of laughter and being silly!

Christian as “Cleevus”

* Parenting can be tough, as most of us know, in the best of circumstances. Solo parenting….SIGH! It is ideal for children to have both parents involved and engaged with them. It is ideal for children to know that they can depend on both parents and to have the security knowing that they can lean on both parents for support and comfort. Here’s the positive: The three of us have become even closer. We are a better family unit because of our dependence on each other. It has made us stronger individually and collectively. Life isn’t perfect and we certainly have our days (yesterday was one of “those days”), but we get through them and we love each other from the core of our beings. After all, LOVE is the answer, right??
* The financial tightness is what it is. Finances are a trigger for me to really stress, in fact I’m carrying around my 8 lb stress belly right now, as we speak! (okay 10 lbs!! I’m a woman, hard not to fudge! wink wink) It comes and goes and it’s okay. We are learning to not be quite so spoiled. I am learning to do things for myself that I didn’t know how to do before. Thanks to my amazing, perfect boyfriend, who taught me how….I actually put my lawn mower on a battery charger and jumped it ALL BY MYSELF!! I was so proud of myself…. I felt so empowered and I AM SO EMPOWERED! He even taught me about the choke thingy on the weed eater and blower…it blocks the air off from the carburetor (did I even spell that right??) so it will spark when you pull the string and start….I think that’s right?? I’m so right brain, so when he’s explaining things like this to me.. I just smile and think “wow! he’s so smart! and sexy….smart is so sexy…I love his eyes.. his voice.. that smile gets me every time.. he totally knows, this is going completely over my head”. ( I’m really not A.D.D.!!). Point being, I’m not just learning Soul expanding “lessons”, I’m learning day to day practical lessons too, that empower me!
* My daughter having to make the toughest decision of her life blew me away! When she came to me with her decision, that she wasn’t even asked to make, I was in awe. How can a 15 year old girl, look at her horse that she loves more than anything in this world and put her heartache to the side to determine that she loves her Phoenix too much to let her continue living a less than quality life. That her bad days were outweighing her good days. That her pain was too great. That Phoenix would be better off being put down, she was suffering. It moves me to tears. I learned strength, courage, selflessness, wisdom, discernment and bravery on a whole new level. I will forever pull from the courage I saw in my daughter, when faced with a fearful situation… I will never forget.

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* When my son was going through such a tough time, I was scared too death! I was afraid that he would lose himself in the anger that had engulfed him. I was diligent in not making him feel shameful for his anger and making sure that he FELT and EXPERIENCED the love I have for him, even when he was a “cactus” and not a “magnet”. Making sure that he felt understood, validated AND loved, loved, loved…no matter what! Well, you know what “they” say…it gets worse before it gets better and it did, but one day he woke up and it was behind him, just like that! He was on the other side of it, he had worked through it! He was himself again. RELIEF!!! I learned that everyone has their own, personal process and AGE doesn’t matter. My son needed the space, support and love to get him on the other side of this and what was going on in him really didn’t have anything to do with me or his sister. I learned resilience, perseverance, that it’s never too late, our actions do not define WHO we are. I already knew this truth, that our actions do not define who we are, but I actually got to see it on steroids. When he was on the other side of this hiccup in his life, he didn’t look back, he didn’t “beat himself up”, he’s moved on…life goes on! I saw him honor where he was, I saw a truly healthy soul navigating a very tough loss, I saw strength. In retrospect, it was beautiful!

I have so many wonderful blessings in my life; family, a nice home, good friends, dream career, I’m kinda crazy about these kids I have and I’m kinda liking the boyfriend too! I see on a daily basis how past experiences HAD to happen, in order for me to receive what and who I have now.

Now, on this beautiful, sunny afternoon, I’m going to close up shop, cut my grass AND put new string on the weed eater and weed eat like a BOSS!!

Do you have a story of a “growth opportunity”? Does this blog post resonate with you? I would love to hear from you in the comments section and feel free to share with anyone that needs the encouragement to just hang in there!

Through The Eyes of Love ♥

Michelle Dancy, CHHC, AADP
Awakening Holistic Healthcare
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28 Day Slim, Sexy and Smart Weight Loss Program

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Michelle Dancy, CHHC, AADP

So you’re considering the 28 Day Slim, Sexy & Smart™ Program? I think you’ll love it, along with my approach to compact nutrition that seems to just naturally melt away all your problem areas! 

You’ll find my focus is around healthy eating, combined with stress-releasing days of fun, moderate exercise, proper supplementation & lots of self-care.

I’ll get you going with basic concepts, and then add more advanced Slim, Sexy & Smart secrets to maintain your progress.

You’ll find ways to boost your immunity, add energy and of course, you’ll look and feel great too!    

Join me and learn that you can eat good food, enjoy your food and lose weight all at the same time.  You will learn directly from a Certified Health Coach, who will be there for you every step of the way. I am so looking forward to you supporting you!

“Nothing tastes as good as being thin feels.” ― Elizabeth Berg

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Lose weight without dieting and discover how to eat your way to SLIM and enjoy doing it! Find happy, healthy habits founded in good nutrition without starving or detoxing.

Upon registration you’ll receive an email so we can set up your (3) one on one coaching appointments with me and with immediate access to your “Getting Started Guide” with loads of information on how to clean up your diet and your life, including a suggested shopping list and resource guide to make your program a complete success.

You will start receiving the first of 28 emails from me.  You will be given daily modules and workbooks with affirmations, informational materials, daily “tasks”, tools, tips and fabulous recipes!  You’re going to feel so vibrant and overflowing with energy and good vibes throughout these 28 days that you will want to maintain your new perspective forever!

What you will learn from me:

How to listen to your gut and trust your body to let you know what you should be eating.  Don’t expect a bunch of no-carb, low-fat, raw,

vegetarian meals or a strict list of what you have to eat.

Best kept secrets from top-notch health coaches, founded on the principles of bio- individuality, meaning no cookie cutter approaches,

because everybody is different.

  • What are the best super foods on the planet, how should you select them and simple ways to incorporate them into daily living.
  • Find out which supplements work best for you.
  • Practical information about digestion, probiotics and enzymes.  Your body will thank us for it.
  • Explore how you can lose weight by adding in healthy foods.
  • Find out which foods you should never eat.  You may be surprised.
  • I encourage cooking at home with delicious whole foods.
  • The truth about “carbs”.
  • How to eat out responsibly. Yes…you can even travel and still eat healthy.
  • Discover there are healthy fats…and find out which ones.
  • Locate your Primary Food sources and find out how they can influence your weight more than calorie counting and deprivation combined.
  • Beauty tips real beauty

Your complete package contains:

  • 28-days of inspiration, direction, accountability, worksheets, and fun.(value $2,607 )
  • 2- One on One Visits with a Registered and Certified Health Coach (value $333)

Regularly $457

For a limited time only, NEW YEARS RESOLUTION SPECIAL, $375

Email me at michelle.manning@awakening-internal.com for more information

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Through The Eyes of Love,

 

Michelle Dancy, CHHC, AADP

awakening-internal.com

michelle.manning@awakening-internal.com

 


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My Little Girl’s Heart

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You came into her life at the perfect time,

The perfect time for both of you.

Instantly your spirits became one,

A love so deep, a love so true.

She’d jump on your bare back and off you’d go,

Not a care in the world, just you…and my little girl.

She would laugh from the depth of her soul, you with a big smile,

And through the wind would flow your mane and her beautiful curls.

The fastest horse around,

That’s what she’d always say,

For you stole her heart

On that very first day.

She knew you best,

She loved you like no other,

Love so unselfish, love so brave,

She loved you like she was your mother.

You no longer hurt,

You see with perfection,

You will NEVER be forgotten,

Phoenix, you will always be my little girl’s heart.

R.I.P. Phoenix 8/6/2014

Run wild, run free!