Awakening Internal

Personal growth through the eyes of love


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Transformation Tuesday…Transformation Life

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My before picture was taken in my parents kitchen in October 2002 and it stirs so much emotion in my core. A stay at home mother of 4, a wife of almost 7 years, a sister to 2, an aunt to many and more friends than I could count. I was VERY involved in the school my oldest two children were attending, church and religion; wrapped up in the legalities of religion and working nearly full time, volunteering on just about every committee at church, plus doing a weekly, intense bible study that involved an hour or more of study/homework daily! Oh, and did I mention that I’m very OCD over my house and IT.WAS.IMMACULATE. My youngest two children were dressed in boutique attire, my oldest two were involved in sports every season, music lessons, school…..YOU NAME IT! WHEW! I’m tired just thinking about it!!!

Why does my before picture stir so much emotion? Because when I look at my picture, and I will never forget, how deeply I was hurting, how worthless I thought I was, how desperately I wanted to be loved and how desperately I wanted to love and how much I HATED myself. NOW, on the “love front”, I have to give a very insightful disclaimer: Even if I had someone in my life, at the time, that loved me completely, respected me, cherished me and saw my value, I could not have handled it at all because I thought I was worthless and would have never believed in a million years that I would have deserved such a blessing. So, at that time, I had what I felt I deserved.

You might be looking at my before and after picture wondering, HOW did she make such a physical change? Well, it was a process…first physical, then internal, then BOTH. You see, inside my 258 pound body, was ME! I was hiding, building a physical wall around me. This wall was built to protect me from more pain, it ALWAYS gave me great ways to judge and punish myself and make great excuses for when I was rejected or cheated on ( “I don’t blame him for cheating…LOOK AT ME!!!” “I wouldn’t want to have sex with me either, I’m disgusting!!!” and the horrible dialogue went on and on…). In November 2002, I reached out to a doctor to have weight loss surgery (out of serious desperation!!) and in my mind, this was going to solve all of my problems. I had gastric bypass January 31, 2003 and 10 1/2 months later, I was a very healthy weight and wearing my goal size…..yay!!!!!!!! Transformation complete, right??!! My life was NOW perfect, right???!! This solved all of my problems, right??!! Not hardly, the only two things in my life that changed was 1- I couldn’t really use food as a vice anymore and 2- My dress size. My weight loss provided more energy for me to do even more…which kept me busy enough to not have to think..which was the subconscious goal!! I was still being rejected, I STILL wasn’t “enough” to keep his attention and I still thought I was a worthless piece of trash. In September 2004, my marriage came to a point of crisis and we started marriage counseling and then I started one on one counseling…this started my internal changes. My marriage survived another 8-9 years (by the skin of its teeth!), and over that 9 years I dove head first into personal growth and healing. During this 8-9 years, Bikram Hot Yoga was the biggest part of my life for a year (2008) thanks to vanity and pride….seeking to seal the physical transformation, but received a much greater gift…major internal work, spiritual healing and love from a community of the most loving people…WHO KNEW I would gain so much from a great “workout”??!! Through connections, I was introduced to people that, unknowingly at the time, were guiding me on my path to the health/wellness industry.

NOW my life is perfect, right?? Well, yes and no. Yes, because I’m right where I’m supposed to be for a season but it is a challenging season, so it doesn’t “feel” perfect. As I have learned with all of my personal life experiences though, there are no mistakes and everything happens for a reason. There are clear perfections in my life and some of them are my children and my 7 month old granddaughter, check her out!! (what kind of Yaya would I be if I didn’t show her off?!)

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Another perfection in my life, is my relationship with my boyfriend. I am genuinely respected, genuinely cherished, he knows my value and he can see into the depth of my soul and loves me like no other. One of the beautiful aspects of this for me personally, is that because I learned to love myself, I can NOW handle the love that I was so desperate for, many years ago!

Do you have a transformation story to share? Does this article resonate with you and/or help you? I would love to hear from you in the comments section or if you would like to share privately, feel free to email me at michelledancy.healthcoach@gmail.com

Through The Eyes of Love,

Michelle Dancy, CHHC, AADP

Awakening Holistic Healthcare
http://awakening-internal.com

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Banana Bread-Gluten and Dairy Free

Banana Bread

I have taken a favorite recipe of mine, from my mother and tweaked it so I can have a gluten and dairy free version of banana bread, being that I’m intolerant to both gluten and dairy.  A lot of the time, when I purchase gluten and dairy free breads, I find that they are dry and a little tough…but you will NOT find that with this recipe!!  This banana bread is moist and I mean MOIST and very soft…probably because we really didn’t even give them time to cool down before we started shoving them in our pie hole!!

INGREDIENTS:

Not quite ¾ cup of Grade B maple syrup (organic)

½ cup earth balance shortening

3 ripe bananas (organic)

2 eggs well beaten (local, organic)

1 1/3 Bob’s Red Mill Flour

½ teaspoon salt

1 teaspoon baking soda

1/3 cup chopped pecans (organic)

Directions:

Cream syrup and shortening together then add bananas and eggs. Put flour, salt and baking soda together separately and mix.  Blend wet and dry ingredients and pecans but don’t over mix.  Bake in a loaf pan for 50 minutes at 350 degrees or in a muffin pan for approximately 12-15 minutes.

When you try this recipe, please comment on this post and let me know just how DELISH you think it is too!!!


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Homemade Veggie Soup

Homemade Veggie Soup

Ingredients:

2 Free Range Chicken Legs

2 tablespoons Organic, cold pressed Extra Virgin Olive Oil

2 Cartons of Organic Vegetable Soup Broth

2 Cloves of garlic (1-keep whole, just peeled and 1-minced)

Organic Kale (washed and torn from the stem, tear into bite size pieces)

Organic Onion (sliced and diced)

Organic Carrots (julienne)

Organic Parsnips (peel with carrot peeler and julienne)

Organic Cauliflower

Organic Celery (julienne)

5 Organic Red Potatoes (halve and slice)

Directions:

Boil chicken legs with a clove of garlic, salt and pepper
In a separate pot, sauté onions and fresh, minced garlic in two tablespoons of olive oil with salt and pepper, until tender.
Add two cartons of organic vegetable broth.
Meantime, julianne carrots and parsnips, halve and slice 5 red potatoes. Chop cauliflower and celery.
When chicken is falling off of the bone, discard the skin and bones and combine the chicken, veggie broth and the broth from the boiled chicken. Add all veggies and simmer until the potatoes are tender, last five minutes add kale.

This would be great to make on Sunday to have for the week. It’s so good that you won’t even want to grab a bite to eat while you’re out and about because you will know you have this waiting for you, ENJOY!!
Homemade Veggie Soup


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Roasted Veggies

This is one of my combinations for Roasted Veggies, but just use what you have.  Sometimes I just throw in 2-3 different veggies and it’s still delish!! If you haven’t tried parsnips…DO TRY!!  They are amazing!  When you are prepping for this recipe, get the family involved.  When children are vested in making a meal, they will be more likely to be more open-minded to trying and liking the food they have helped to prepare. 

The picture below also includes butternut squash:

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Roasted Veggies:
Parsnips
Carrots
Brussels Sprouts (cut in half)
Red Onion
Clove of Garlic
Zucchini
Toss in olive oil, Himalayan salt, pepper
Place in a baking pan and cover with tin foil so the Brussels Sprouts won’t burn
Bake on 420° for 40 minutes


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A Growing Year

This, without a doubt, has been a “growing” (aka challenging) year for my children and me.
Here’s to name a few of our growth opportunities:
* The very unexpected death of my 41 year old sister on Christmas Eve
* Divorce
* Being cast into the role of not only being a single mother, but single-handedly raising a teenage girl and a teenage boy. Solo. Alone. Solo. Solo. Oh, and did I mention SOLO??
* My beautiful souls that I have been blessed to care for until they leave the nest, being reduced from having two active parents to one active parent.
* Financial “tightness” due to divorce
* My brave 15 year old daughter had to make the toughest decision this summer. She had to have the love of her life, Phoenix (her beautiful Paint Horse), put down due to eye cancer and another major health issue, both were causing her to suffer immense pain.
* At the beginning of this year, my young teenage son (13), went through a tough time with the transition of his relationship with his father. He was engulfed in anger, acted out and I was worried I would lose him!

Now to switch gears, let’s do a 180! For all of you that have been reading my blog and following me on social media, you know I always like to come back to the positive side of a situation. I thrive on being real, raw and showing how tough, hopeless and ugly “growing opportunities” are, but I love to come back and show you what I have learned, how I have grown and how I/we have arrived on the other side of a situation in tact; with the hopes of encouraging just one person!

Here’s a list of POSITIVE lessons learned:
* With the loss of my sister, I have learned to make peace with one of the most heartbreaking losses of my life. My Spirit has been expanded. I grieved without “stuffing it” and honored where I was at the moment. I grieved without apology.
* Divorce was a healthy move for my kids and me. We were caught up in the cycle of abuse and our home is now a safe haven, there is peace (most of the time 🙂 ) and there is laughter….LOTS of laughter and being silly!

Christian as “Cleevus”

* Parenting can be tough, as most of us know, in the best of circumstances. Solo parenting….SIGH! It is ideal for children to have both parents involved and engaged with them. It is ideal for children to know that they can depend on both parents and to have the security knowing that they can lean on both parents for support and comfort. Here’s the positive: The three of us have become even closer. We are a better family unit because of our dependence on each other. It has made us stronger individually and collectively. Life isn’t perfect and we certainly have our days (yesterday was one of “those days”), but we get through them and we love each other from the core of our beings. After all, LOVE is the answer, right??
* The financial tightness is what it is. Finances are a trigger for me to really stress, in fact I’m carrying around my 8 lb stress belly right now, as we speak! (okay 10 lbs!! I’m a woman, hard not to fudge! wink wink) It comes and goes and it’s okay. We are learning to not be quite so spoiled. I am learning to do things for myself that I didn’t know how to do before. Thanks to my amazing, perfect boyfriend, who taught me how….I actually put my lawn mower on a battery charger and jumped it ALL BY MYSELF!! I was so proud of myself…. I felt so empowered and I AM SO EMPOWERED! He even taught me about the choke thingy on the weed eater and blower…it blocks the air off from the carburetor (did I even spell that right??) so it will spark when you pull the string and start….I think that’s right?? I’m so right brain, so when he’s explaining things like this to me.. I just smile and think “wow! he’s so smart! and sexy….smart is so sexy…I love his eyes.. his voice.. that smile gets me every time.. he totally knows, this is going completely over my head”. ( I’m really not A.D.D.!!). Point being, I’m not just learning Soul expanding “lessons”, I’m learning day to day practical lessons too, that empower me!
* My daughter having to make the toughest decision of her life blew me away! When she came to me with her decision, that she wasn’t even asked to make, I was in awe. How can a 15 year old girl, look at her horse that she loves more than anything in this world and put her heartache to the side to determine that she loves her Phoenix too much to let her continue living a less than quality life. That her bad days were outweighing her good days. That her pain was too great. That Phoenix would be better off being put down, she was suffering. It moves me to tears. I learned strength, courage, selflessness, wisdom, discernment and bravery on a whole new level. I will forever pull from the courage I saw in my daughter, when faced with a fearful situation… I will never forget.

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* When my son was going through such a tough time, I was scared too death! I was afraid that he would lose himself in the anger that had engulfed him. I was diligent in not making him feel shameful for his anger and making sure that he FELT and EXPERIENCED the love I have for him, even when he was a “cactus” and not a “magnet”. Making sure that he felt understood, validated AND loved, loved, loved…no matter what! Well, you know what “they” say…it gets worse before it gets better and it did, but one day he woke up and it was behind him, just like that! He was on the other side of it, he had worked through it! He was himself again. RELIEF!!! I learned that everyone has their own, personal process and AGE doesn’t matter. My son needed the space, support and love to get him on the other side of this and what was going on in him really didn’t have anything to do with me or his sister. I learned resilience, perseverance, that it’s never too late, our actions do not define WHO we are. I already knew this truth, that our actions do not define who we are, but I actually got to see it on steroids. When he was on the other side of this hiccup in his life, he didn’t look back, he didn’t “beat himself up”, he’s moved on…life goes on! I saw him honor where he was, I saw a truly healthy soul navigating a very tough loss, I saw strength. In retrospect, it was beautiful!

I have so many wonderful blessings in my life; family, a nice home, good friends, dream career, I’m kinda crazy about these kids I have and I’m kinda liking the boyfriend too! I see on a daily basis how past experiences HAD to happen, in order for me to receive what and who I have now.

Now, on this beautiful, sunny afternoon, I’m going to close up shop, cut my grass AND put new string on the weed eater and weed eat like a BOSS!!

Do you have a story of a “growth opportunity”? Does this blog post resonate with you? I would love to hear from you in the comments section and feel free to share with anyone that needs the encouragement to just hang in there!

Through The Eyes of Love ♥

Michelle Dancy, CHHC, AADP
Awakening Holistic Healthcare
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28 Day Slim, Sexy and Smart Weight Loss Program

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Michelle Dancy, CHHC, AADP

So you’re considering the 28 Day Slim, Sexy & Smart™ Program? I think you’ll love it, along with my approach to compact nutrition that seems to just naturally melt away all your problem areas! 

You’ll find my focus is around healthy eating, combined with stress-releasing days of fun, moderate exercise, proper supplementation & lots of self-care.

I’ll get you going with basic concepts, and then add more advanced Slim, Sexy & Smart secrets to maintain your progress.

You’ll find ways to boost your immunity, add energy and of course, you’ll look and feel great too!    

Join me and learn that you can eat good food, enjoy your food and lose weight all at the same time.  You will learn directly from a Certified Health Coach, who will be there for you every step of the way. I am so looking forward to you supporting you!

“Nothing tastes as good as being thin feels.” ― Elizabeth Berg

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Lose weight without dieting and discover how to eat your way to SLIM and enjoy doing it! Find happy, healthy habits founded in good nutrition without starving or detoxing.

Upon registration you’ll receive an email so we can set up your (3) one on one coaching appointments with me and with immediate access to your “Getting Started Guide” with loads of information on how to clean up your diet and your life, including a suggested shopping list and resource guide to make your program a complete success.

You will start receiving the first of 28 emails from me.  You will be given daily modules and workbooks with affirmations, informational materials, daily “tasks”, tools, tips and fabulous recipes!  You’re going to feel so vibrant and overflowing with energy and good vibes throughout these 28 days that you will want to maintain your new perspective forever!

What you will learn from me:

How to listen to your gut and trust your body to let you know what you should be eating.  Don’t expect a bunch of no-carb, low-fat, raw,

vegetarian meals or a strict list of what you have to eat.

Best kept secrets from top-notch health coaches, founded on the principles of bio- individuality, meaning no cookie cutter approaches,

because everybody is different.

  • What are the best super foods on the planet, how should you select them and simple ways to incorporate them into daily living.
  • Find out which supplements work best for you.
  • Practical information about digestion, probiotics and enzymes.  Your body will thank us for it.
  • Explore how you can lose weight by adding in healthy foods.
  • Find out which foods you should never eat.  You may be surprised.
  • I encourage cooking at home with delicious whole foods.
  • The truth about “carbs”.
  • How to eat out responsibly. Yes…you can even travel and still eat healthy.
  • Discover there are healthy fats…and find out which ones.
  • Locate your Primary Food sources and find out how they can influence your weight more than calorie counting and deprivation combined.
  • Beauty tips real beauty

Your complete package contains:

  • 28-days of inspiration, direction, accountability, worksheets, and fun.(value $2,607 )
  • 2- One on One Visits with a Registered and Certified Health Coach (value $333)

Regularly $457

For a limited time only, NEW YEARS RESOLUTION SPECIAL, $375

Email me at michelle.manning@awakening-internal.com for more information

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Through The Eyes of Love,

 

Michelle Dancy, CHHC, AADP

awakening-internal.com

michelle.manning@awakening-internal.com