Awakening Internal

Personal growth through the eyes of love


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Love Heals (Part One)

This is part one of a two part blog post, so stay tuned for part two!

This weekend I was having a conversation with a friend, she was telling me about research she has done on babies that are  removed from their birth parents, at birth.  She was sharing that babies go into survival mode because they can’t smell their mothers or hear their mothers voices or heartbeats.  This, naturally, can cause long term issues with abandonment, security and fear.   As we’re talking, she points to my almost 9 month old granddaughter and says, she’s so happy and thriving though(??).

My granddaughter was placed with me when she was just 11 weeks old.  As Forrest Gump says, “and that’s all I have to say about that”, so I won’t go into the gory details surrounding that decision.

I used to “eye roll” back in the day, when I would hear Hillary Clinton say, “it takes a village”…HA!  She couldn’t have been more spot on, it DOES take a village!!  Our sweet baby has a village of people that love her completely and enjoy every little thing that she does and of course, we ALL think she’s the most beautiful, smartest, sweetest baby EVER…and we’re not prejudice a bit!! My granddaughters village, or tribe as I refer to us sometimes, is made up of partially blood related relatives and partially friends; we are ALL family now.  Our sweet baby and unconditional love are the foundation of our makeshift family and it’s perfection!

Love is Patient, Love is Kind:

Going from being a single parent to two teenagers, to a single parent to two teenagers and a new baby has been a MAJOR transition for me personally, to say the least.  Going from teenagers that will sleep late, therefore on the weekends I could sleep until I decided I wanted to get up and have a little quiet time in the mornings, to having a new baby in the house that was up every few hours and the opportunity for me to ease into my days were yanked right out from under my feet and was about to send me OVER THE EDGE.
I have a growing Health Coaching Practice, it’s one of my passions, but when our sweet baby came to live with us, the momentum I had, stopped in its tracks and working was put on the back burner for awhile and I let this overwhelm me with stress, and anxiety became a daily battle.
Dealing with caseworkers, a whole new territory for me, I had so much to learn and so many people in and out of my house and this was a little scary for me.  I wanted to be transparent with them and tell them how afraid I was to take on raising a baby with everything I was already juggling, but I was afraid they may place our sweet baby in foster care and I couldn’t bare the thoughts of that!  For the record, each and every case worker has been so wonderful!  They truly care about the children!!  Also, every single person I have dealt with in The Department of Social Services has been a huge support for me and my family.
Court.  We have been in and out of court, the neglected and abused division, needless to say that this has been eye opening and heartbreaking.  The cases that go before the judge are unbelievable and I leave there in tears and a heavy heart for days sometimes.  The teenagers that are “in the system” and have been for YEARS…it kills me. One teenage boy is in a substance abuse program because he hasn’t seen his mom in over a year, he’s hurting so badly that he’s medicating himself.  A teenage girl, thriving in school, the judge commends her for doing so well and she inspires me that in spite of all she’s been handed in life, she is on her game….but in the deepest part of me, I also know that she is wanting to prove that she is worthy of love.   I think, “is this our babies future? Is she going to always feel as though she has to prove herself? Is this going to drag out for years?”  I can say with CONFIDENCE, HELL TO THE NO!!  This is not her future!  She is thriving physically, mentally and emotionally and WILL CONTINUE DOING SO!!

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Now to tie all of this together and tell you why I put this information in this section of my blog post.  Love is patient and Love is kind.  This isn’t about me being patient and kind with our baby.   This portion is about the patience and kindness (LOVE) shown to me on a daily basis, which enables me to do what I do.  Needless to say, I have had more than my fair share of meltdowns through this situation and I’ve needed to just have the space to say what I needed to say, rational or not.  I have to say that I hit “rock bottom” almost a month ago when I realized I had our baby by myself for the weekend, while my teenagers were going to be at their dads for the weekend.  I so desperately need these every other weekends to recharge, it makes me a better mom.   I have never felt so defeated…so alone.  I have this amazing boyfriend, he is my biggest fan and he is my rock.  He calls me when he gets off of work, as he always does, and immediately he knows I’m not in a good place.  I said things to him that I was feeling about myself that I haven’t even thought in YEARS, it makes me want to cry thinking about it now.  I didn’t pretend, I didn’t sugar coat anything, in fact I almost felt too defeated to even talk at times.  To be honest, and I don’t even think I’ve told him this, but I didn’t even want to answer the phone when he called me that day because I felt “too ugly” to even expose his beautiful heart to my darkness.  He loved me through it; he was patient, he was kind, he saw me through the eyes of love, compassion and understanding.  He  assured me that I am not defeated, that I am the strongest person he knows, I am not alone…he called and checked on me through the night and even made sure I got into bed and that I was going to be able to sleep, and sent me lots of love!  Having the freedom to be transparent with the darkness that I was experiencing that night, some how enabled me to get on the other side of all of the overwhelm and anxiety that I had been experiencing and I haven’t had that debilitating anxiety that I had been dealing with since!  His love has filled me, healed me, which has spilled over into our sweet babies life and has enabled her life to remain constant and stable.

Love Always Protects, Always Trusts, Always Hopes, Always Preserves:

I wish I could take all of the credit for the fact that she is so happy and thriving, but I can’t by a long shot.  The only thing I can really take credit for is setting her up for success.  I have been diligent about protecting her from the negativity of the situation surrounding her birth parents, to the best of my ability and I have been diligent about surrounding her with people that love her and see her as the perfect little angel that she is.
I have a friend, her mother and her daughter, that are now family.  My friend has quickly become the other grandmother to our baby and she loves her as much as I do!  I have leaned on my new family the most with helping while I work and helping with the every other weekends, when my teenagers are at their dads.  She is also my friend and I have been able to lean on her during the emotional times too.  We lean on each other, because sometimes we both worry about different things around this situation and let our fears get the best of us…we get each other and love each other.  They are vested as much as I am and because of that and the love they have for our baby, I value their voice, I trust them.  Our sweet girl, loves them all so much along with everyone else in her village.

Her “village or tribe” has approximately 15 people in it and each and everyone of us take off of work and clear our calendars in order to go to court when there is a court date, (my parents drive 4 hours..one way) because we each love and support our baby and each of us want the absolute best for her.  My parents keep us stocked up on diapers, wipes and formula, thanks to Amazon.  My oldest son and his fiancé have bought her clothes, a car seat, diapers, wipes. My future daughter-in-law has come to my house to help me clean, babysit and they do anything that I ask them to do.  Everyone contributes in so many ways, I don’t think I could even begin to list it all and I couldn’t be more grateful!

The love; protection, trust, hope and preservation that she experiences on a daily basis has healed her from the neglect, abandonment, insecurities and the extreme fear she used to experience when she was placed in a position that was unsettling for her.  Every single person that meets our baby for the first time, even case workers and the nurses and Doctors at her pediatricians office, say she is the happiest baby they have ever seen!  People ask me all of the time if she’s always “this happy” and unless she’s getting hungry or sleepy, she IS always “this happy”.  I attribute her happiness to the love she receives at home and the love she receives from her village….her family.

Did you know that babies can exhibit their gifts?  I didn’t know that, until now.  Our baby draws people in, she wins their hearts over the second someone lays eyes on her and she creates unification, families and oneness.  She is a game changer and she is going to shake this world up that we live in….just wait and see!  Love has not only healed our precious little angel, but quite possibly our little angel is healing her tribe most of all.

children two

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Do You Feel….YOU?????

I read something this week that really resonated with me,from the book Slow Sex by Nicole Daedone.  She is talking about how people, women specifically, have been trained to not feel sensation.  Nicole gives the following example: a mother is taking her little girl to her first day of kindergarten and the little girl states that she has butterflies in her stomach.  Her mother dismisses the feeling that is in her daughter’s belly by stating that she’s just nervous.  Now, in my opinion, the mother has 100% good intentions, but isn’t this the beginning of being taught to not being present with what’s going on inside of us? Is this resonating with you already? Does this training spill over into every other area of your life?    Does this mentality spill over into your sensual life..your sensual self? It did mine! Ever since I read this, I have been very intentional about “feeling” and being really in tune with WHAT I’m feeling specifically in my body..paying attention to my core.  Do you see how being intentional about “feeling” what’s going on inside of you could be so beneficial on SO many levels?
We are taught as women to “hide”our sensuality, so we are deemed as “good girls”, but our sensual selves is WHO WE ARE and it’s natural and normal, it doesn’t make us “bad girls”!
This weekend and week ahead, be very intentional about “feeling” what you have going on inside of you and embrace it..Good or unpleasant and see what kind of shift happens in you personally.  There is no right or wrong way to feel what you’re feeling.  Honor where you are, acknowledge where you are, be present and LOVE yourself for it!!

Through The Eyes of Love,
Michelle Dancy, CHHC, AADP
michelle.manning@awakening-internal.com


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What is a Holistic Health Coach?

I get the question all of the time….”What is it you do exactly??”

First things first, what in the heck does “Holistic” mean??  My little handy dandy dictionary app defines holistic as 1. “incorporating the concept of holism in theory or practice: holistic psychology” 2. “Medicine/Medical.  Identifying with principles of holism in a system of therapeutics, especially one considered outside the mainstream of scientific medicine, as naturopathy or chiropractic, and often involving nutritional measures: holistic medicine.”.  Synonyms (adjective: complete, whole) are listed as:  Aggregate, comprehensive, entire, full, integrated, total and universal.  Synonyms (adjective: of broad-ranging consciousness-raising movement) are listed as: Age of Aquarius, alternative, astrological, balanced, crystal healing, holistic, mystic, occult, planetary, spiritual, supernaturalist.  Synonyms (adjective: good for health) are listed as:  Healthy, holistic, salubrious, wholesome.  Antonyms:  unhealthy.  My definition in layman’s terms: holistic is working with a client/patient as a WHOLE person and at every level:  Physically, mentally, emotionally and spiritually.  Each of us are made up of 3 parts, the physical body, the spirit and our mind/emotions.  If one of our 3 parts is out of balance and/or sick, then it will affect the other 2 parts. Example:  Suzy Q can eat as clean and eat exactly what her body needs to be at optimum health BUT if Suzy Q has a stressful job, that she dreads going to and absolutely hates, then this WILL affect her physically, potentially raising blood pressure, causing belly fat and/or disrupting sleep.   Make sense???

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Who do I work with?

I work with clients that want to:  lose weight, eat healthier, manage stress, sleep well, heal their bodies naturally, have better relationships, want to live life to the fullest, enhance and grow their spiritual life, have success with weight loss surgery, learn to love themselves, have fulfilling sex lives, have a better quality of life, manage their time more efficiently, cook more.

Example:  I have a client that started with me when she was 38 and she has Graves Disease. Her Doctor’s RX was to do radiation on her thyroid, but of course, my client didn’t want to do this if it wasn’t necessary.  She came to me with hopes of learning some ways to tweak her diet and lifestyle in order to just regulate her thyroid levels; stress and diet impact the thyroid and was contributing to her levels being off.  By the end of her six month program with me, she went for a check up with her doctor and her levels were regulated, yay!!  Two months later, her levels were actually improved and her doctor has finally told her that she will leave her alone with regards to doing radiation on her thyroid…again, YAY!!!!  I am SO super proud of my client, because without her actually doing the “work”, nothing would’ve changed for her.

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What is my approach? 

Well, that depends on YOU!  Nutritionally, I take a bio individuality approach with each of my clients. What is bio individuality??  Bio individuality recognizes that everyone is a unique individual that has nutritional and physical activity requirements based on that uniqueness to reach optimum health.  In other words, food that is healthy and healing for me, could be poison for you.  Physical activity- same thing, everyone is different.  Example:  Your body may thrive on walking two miles a day, gentle yoga or a quick bike ride, whereas, my body NEEDS 90 minutes of KICK ASS, balls to the wall physical activity, 6 days a week, whether it’s Hot Yoga, running or an intense bike ride ALL uphill to be at optimum health.  Spirituality- I meet my clients where they “are”, through the eyes of love and support them through their journey to becoming fulfilled in their spiritual life, whatever that may look like for them.

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When do I work with my clients?

I typically work with my clients twice a month, either in my office face to face or through a phone or Skype appointment.  Through technology, I can literally work with anyone, anywhere in the world.  My clients have ongoing support from me between appointments through my private Facebook page (that is for my clients only) and through email, text or phone.  The first appointment is a Consultation Session, or as I like to call it, a Breakthrough Session.  During the Breakthrough Session, we cover concerns, goals and decide what the best approach is to help them reach their goals.

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My heart!

I DO LOVE each and every one of my clients SO much!  Each of them have impacted me in such a way, that I’m a better person for knowing them and for them making me apart of their lives.  I learn from each of my clients and feel my spirits lift each time I see them.  My heart is for each one to see themselves through the eyes of love and to see themselves as the perfection that they are! I thrive on the breakthroughs, the light bulb moments and the tears of healing…because I love the person in front of me and he or she deserves the absolute best that life has to offer them ♥

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How can you start YOUR process?

It’s actually very simple, just the way I like it!  Just visit my website by clicking here to get even more info.  From the landing page (home page),  click on the “Connect” tab and choose “health forms” from the drop down menu, then just submit your health form once you fill it out.  Once I receive it, I will contact you to set up your BREAKTHROUGH SESSION!  See….isn’t that easy!?

Feel free to share this article and if  you still have questions, or you have any comments, please feel free to drop a line below in the comments section….I love to hear from you!!

Through The Eyes of Love,

Michelle Dancy, CHHC, AADP

 


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Homemade Veggie Soup

Homemade Veggie Soup

Ingredients:

2 Free Range Chicken Legs

2 tablespoons Organic, cold pressed Extra Virgin Olive Oil

2 Cartons of Organic Vegetable Soup Broth

2 Cloves of garlic (1-keep whole, just peeled and 1-minced)

Organic Kale (washed and torn from the stem, tear into bite size pieces)

Organic Onion (sliced and diced)

Organic Carrots (julienne)

Organic Parsnips (peel with carrot peeler and julienne)

Organic Cauliflower

Organic Celery (julienne)

5 Organic Red Potatoes (halve and slice)

Directions:

Boil chicken legs with a clove of garlic, salt and pepper
In a separate pot, sauté onions and fresh, minced garlic in two tablespoons of olive oil with salt and pepper, until tender.
Add two cartons of organic vegetable broth.
Meantime, julianne carrots and parsnips, halve and slice 5 red potatoes. Chop cauliflower and celery.
When chicken is falling off of the bone, discard the skin and bones and combine the chicken, veggie broth and the broth from the boiled chicken. Add all veggies and simmer until the potatoes are tender, last five minutes add kale.

This would be great to make on Sunday to have for the week. It’s so good that you won’t even want to grab a bite to eat while you’re out and about because you will know you have this waiting for you, ENJOY!!
Homemade Veggie Soup


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A Growing Year

This, without a doubt, has been a “growing” (aka challenging) year for my children and me.
Here’s to name a few of our growth opportunities:
* The very unexpected death of my 41 year old sister on Christmas Eve
* Divorce
* Being cast into the role of not only being a single mother, but single-handedly raising a teenage girl and a teenage boy. Solo. Alone. Solo. Solo. Oh, and did I mention SOLO??
* My beautiful souls that I have been blessed to care for until they leave the nest, being reduced from having two active parents to one active parent.
* Financial “tightness” due to divorce
* My brave 15 year old daughter had to make the toughest decision this summer. She had to have the love of her life, Phoenix (her beautiful Paint Horse), put down due to eye cancer and another major health issue, both were causing her to suffer immense pain.
* At the beginning of this year, my young teenage son (13), went through a tough time with the transition of his relationship with his father. He was engulfed in anger, acted out and I was worried I would lose him!

Now to switch gears, let’s do a 180! For all of you that have been reading my blog and following me on social media, you know I always like to come back to the positive side of a situation. I thrive on being real, raw and showing how tough, hopeless and ugly “growing opportunities” are, but I love to come back and show you what I have learned, how I have grown and how I/we have arrived on the other side of a situation in tact; with the hopes of encouraging just one person!

Here’s a list of POSITIVE lessons learned:
* With the loss of my sister, I have learned to make peace with one of the most heartbreaking losses of my life. My Spirit has been expanded. I grieved without “stuffing it” and honored where I was at the moment. I grieved without apology.
* Divorce was a healthy move for my kids and me. We were caught up in the cycle of abuse and our home is now a safe haven, there is peace (most of the time 🙂 ) and there is laughter….LOTS of laughter and being silly!

Christian as “Cleevus”

* Parenting can be tough, as most of us know, in the best of circumstances. Solo parenting….SIGH! It is ideal for children to have both parents involved and engaged with them. It is ideal for children to know that they can depend on both parents and to have the security knowing that they can lean on both parents for support and comfort. Here’s the positive: The three of us have become even closer. We are a better family unit because of our dependence on each other. It has made us stronger individually and collectively. Life isn’t perfect and we certainly have our days (yesterday was one of “those days”), but we get through them and we love each other from the core of our beings. After all, LOVE is the answer, right??
* The financial tightness is what it is. Finances are a trigger for me to really stress, in fact I’m carrying around my 8 lb stress belly right now, as we speak! (okay 10 lbs!! I’m a woman, hard not to fudge! wink wink) It comes and goes and it’s okay. We are learning to not be quite so spoiled. I am learning to do things for myself that I didn’t know how to do before. Thanks to my amazing, perfect boyfriend, who taught me how….I actually put my lawn mower on a battery charger and jumped it ALL BY MYSELF!! I was so proud of myself…. I felt so empowered and I AM SO EMPOWERED! He even taught me about the choke thingy on the weed eater and blower…it blocks the air off from the carburetor (did I even spell that right??) so it will spark when you pull the string and start….I think that’s right?? I’m so right brain, so when he’s explaining things like this to me.. I just smile and think “wow! he’s so smart! and sexy….smart is so sexy…I love his eyes.. his voice.. that smile gets me every time.. he totally knows, this is going completely over my head”. ( I’m really not A.D.D.!!). Point being, I’m not just learning Soul expanding “lessons”, I’m learning day to day practical lessons too, that empower me!
* My daughter having to make the toughest decision of her life blew me away! When she came to me with her decision, that she wasn’t even asked to make, I was in awe. How can a 15 year old girl, look at her horse that she loves more than anything in this world and put her heartache to the side to determine that she loves her Phoenix too much to let her continue living a less than quality life. That her bad days were outweighing her good days. That her pain was too great. That Phoenix would be better off being put down, she was suffering. It moves me to tears. I learned strength, courage, selflessness, wisdom, discernment and bravery on a whole new level. I will forever pull from the courage I saw in my daughter, when faced with a fearful situation… I will never forget.

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* When my son was going through such a tough time, I was scared too death! I was afraid that he would lose himself in the anger that had engulfed him. I was diligent in not making him feel shameful for his anger and making sure that he FELT and EXPERIENCED the love I have for him, even when he was a “cactus” and not a “magnet”. Making sure that he felt understood, validated AND loved, loved, loved…no matter what! Well, you know what “they” say…it gets worse before it gets better and it did, but one day he woke up and it was behind him, just like that! He was on the other side of it, he had worked through it! He was himself again. RELIEF!!! I learned that everyone has their own, personal process and AGE doesn’t matter. My son needed the space, support and love to get him on the other side of this and what was going on in him really didn’t have anything to do with me or his sister. I learned resilience, perseverance, that it’s never too late, our actions do not define WHO we are. I already knew this truth, that our actions do not define who we are, but I actually got to see it on steroids. When he was on the other side of this hiccup in his life, he didn’t look back, he didn’t “beat himself up”, he’s moved on…life goes on! I saw him honor where he was, I saw a truly healthy soul navigating a very tough loss, I saw strength. In retrospect, it was beautiful!

I have so many wonderful blessings in my life; family, a nice home, good friends, dream career, I’m kinda crazy about these kids I have and I’m kinda liking the boyfriend too! I see on a daily basis how past experiences HAD to happen, in order for me to receive what and who I have now.

Now, on this beautiful, sunny afternoon, I’m going to close up shop, cut my grass AND put new string on the weed eater and weed eat like a BOSS!!

Do you have a story of a “growth opportunity”? Does this blog post resonate with you? I would love to hear from you in the comments section and feel free to share with anyone that needs the encouragement to just hang in there!

Through The Eyes of Love ♥

Michelle Dancy, CHHC, AADP
Awakening Holistic Healthcare
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A Season With My Sister

Life is full of experiences; the good, the bad and the ugly.  I have found in my own life that each season or experience is for a real purpose, to learn important life lessons that prepare me for and guide me to the next step in my process.

I was a stay-at-home mom for 15+ years and decided to go back to work, part-time for my sister who was a financial advisor for a leading investment firm in the industry.  My role was to do her marketing and to build relationships with her clients, which was right up my alley!  The marketing really tapped into my creativity, which hadn’t been tapped into since I took an art class is high school.  Having the opportunity to work with my sister, for about a year, is a time in my life that I will ALWAYS treasure!  We worked together all day, then a few evenings during the week we would get together to go for a run, go to Target or sometimes go to a ballgame together.  This is a picture of us together one night after work at a local, men’s softball game.

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One night my sister had her house to herself and she invited me over after work to have a spa night, so I bought products for us and took them over.  This was one of the best times we ever had together! This is a picture of us that night with a mud mask on and it is blurry but you can see by the smiles on our faces just how much fun we were having.Image

My sister and I were polar opposites, but learned to embrace our differences and enjoy each other, or so I thought.  During the holidays in 2011, things became strained between us due to lifestyle choices being made in my immediate family.  I respected her opinion, but I still had to make the right decisions for me and my family and this did cause a huge strain on our relationship.  This was only magnified in the spring of 2012, after a year of me personally, struggling with serious depression that was debilitating at times, I was in a really bad place and not handling life very well; during which, she made the decision to completely shut me out of her life (my other sister came to the same conclusion also). This hit me like a ton of bricks and really backed me into a corner, which was good for me personally.  The reason I say that??  I always put SO much stock in what my sister’s thought of me, my life, my decisions…everything at every level.  I stayed in constant doubt because I didn’t trust myself and found that I really needed some time to work some things out, make some hard decisions and to learn to trust myself.  This ultimately lead me to get out of my nearly 20 year volatile, abusive and very unhealthy marriage and make a healthy, peaceful and loving home for my two youngest children that are still at home.  This also lead to me making a career change and getting into school to become a holistic health coach, which was my dream career but I was always afraid to pursue it. I reconciled with my parents, which I had been estranged from for about 5 years and we now have the most beautiful relationships, more beautiful than I could ever imagine.  My spiritual life has been transformed to a place that I am blown away with on a daily basis. I also took this opportunity to reflect internally and grow by leaps and bounds, I now trust myself, love myself and I like who I have become.  Who have I become?  I have become a woman that sees others through the eyes of love, who loves with such intensity, who is strong, compassionate, forgiving and patient.

The last half of 2012, I reached out to my sister on several occasions to try and reconcile and it just didn’t work, she just wasn’t ready.  I knew that this season in our relationship wasn’t only for me, but also part of her process too and out of that I told her that I was here, waiting for her when she was ready and that I loved her. Another year passed, another set of birthdays, mothers day, summer at the pool together, days of running and bike rides, another season of ball games, another year of spa nights.  This past Christmas Eve, I’m sleeping in my daughters room, my parents are in my bed and at 1:19 am, my mother comes through the door and with panic in her voice, she says, “Michelle get up, it’s your sister, she’s in the hospital and they don’t think she’s going to make it!”.  I jumped out of bed, so confused…hospital? Not going to make it? Has she been in an accident?  I looked at my phone and her husband had tried to call me and so I called him, he said “get to the hospital now”.  We took off to the hospital immediately and arrived around 1:45 am. My world was spinning, didn’t feel like this could be possible, surreal.  When we enter the family room, her husband told us that there was nothing that was pointing to my sister making it.  My mom, dad, sister and I went back to see her and when we pulled the curtain back, I was shocked by the way she appeared, she was intubated and an emergency pace maker had just been implanted and she was not conscious.  As I was getting ready to walk up to her bed and speak to her, her spirit reached out to me.  We were talking to each other, without talking.  We were exchanging thoughts and I was so caught up in my conversation with her that I’m not even sure what else was even going on.  I vaguely remember mom standing over her and telling her that she loved her and crying; mom’s cries, I can still hear them, my dad…the look in his eyes, I’ll never forget it, it breaks my heart every time it crosses my mind and my other sister and I spoke to her briefly.  We were only with my sister for a very brief time, when the life transport team from another hospital arrived to take her to their hospital and they asked us to go back to the family room while they assessed her.  As we were walking back to the family room, I was lead by something in my spirit..my intuition to go somewhere so I could be alone, so strongly that I don’t remember even walking by the family…I was on a mission, the pull felt strong and hurried.  The waiting room was full, so I took off outside and stood by a tree right outside of the emergency room.  My sister’s spirit was there, waiting for me.  I begged her to come back, even demanded that she come back, but as soon as I had those demanding thoughts, she allowed me to feel a PORTION of the love, peace and FREEDOM that she was experiencing and I’ve never felt anything like it, not even close.  Immediately my thoughts to her were, “I don’t blame you, I wouldn’t stay here either” and just like that I felt her spirit leave.  When I walked back into the emergency waiting room, my other sister met me and placed her hands in mine and said, “she’s gone”, I said “dammit, I knew it!”.  My beautiful sister was 41 years old, from what I understand she ran 3 miles the day before and for some reason she became sepsis.

My reason for sharing this heartbreak with you is because I want you to see how my sister and I being estranged for the last two years of her life, not only worked for the betterment of me personally but was a way to prepare for our tragic loss.  Through the space created between us, I reconciled with my parents which enabled me to really be there for them during this horrific loss, my children and I were the only immediate family they had.  My spiritual life is at a place that my sister was able to communicate with me, which brought much healing to me personally and it was just an amazing experience, feeling just a portion of the love, peace and FREEDOM that she was now fully immersed in.  The spiritual transformation and experience that I had with my sister the night that she left us, gave me the insight and strength to be strong for my parents and to take care of them.  My sister’s death, which in our human mind seems untimely, but this was and is part of her process.  I would also like to say that the last two years of her life doesn’t at all define our relationship, it was a hiccup.  She loved us all so much while she was here and can and does love us beyond our wildest dreams now.  This is how I choose to remember my sister and it makes me smile!

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Take my life experience and make it your encouragement, we’re all on a journey and honor where you are right now, whether it’s where you want to be or not.  There are days that I miss her so terribly that I feel like I am just going to die, but I sit in my place of grief and honor it with love and by listening and reflecting.  There are days that I am constantly reminded of sweet memories with my sister and I sit in my place of enjoyment and honor it with love and by listening and reflecting.  There are days that I want to call her and cut up and play with her by “punching her buttons” and so I sit in my place of longing and honor it with love and by listening and reflecting.  There are times that I can’t move and feel as if I can’t breathe and so I sit in my place of feeling lost and honor it with love and by listening and reflecting.

We are all on our own personal journey, so not only is it healthy for you to honor where you are on your journey, but it’s also healthy for you to honor where your loved ones are on their journey.  Our losses, heartbreaks, new jobs, new kids, EVERYTHING works together for our good!  Every experience is used to build stepping stones to get us to the next level; physically, mentally, emotionally and spiritually.  Remember this and KNOW this when you are in a difficult season of your life.

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Thank you for reading and following!  Do you have a story about a season in your life and the lessons you learned and/or the growth that took place from your experience?  Are you in a difficult season now?  Do you need support around your difficult season? Comment below, I’d love to hear from you!

Through The Eyes of Love ♥

Michelle Dancy, CHHC, AADP
Awakening Holistic Healthcare
http://awakening-internal.com
 
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